Sunday, March 8, 2015

Consent: It's really not all that difficult

After reading that a clearly none-too-bright university student was inspired by "50 Shades of Grey" to "surprise" rape his girlfriend, it was really quite refreshing to read this fresh and forthright definition of consent:

If you’re still struggling, just imagine instead of initiating sex, you’re making them a cup of tea.

You say “hey, would you like a cup of tea?” and they go “omg fuck yes, I would fucking LOVE a cup of tea! Thank you!*” then you know they want a cup of tea.

If you say “hey, would you like a cup of tea?” and they um and ahh and say, “I’m not really sure…” then you can make them a cup of tea or not, but be aware that they might not drink it, and if they don’t drink it then – this is the important bit – don’t make them drink it. You can’t blame them for you going to the effort of making the tea on the off-chance they wanted it; you just have to deal with them not drinking it. Just because you made it doesn’t mean you are entitled to watch them drink it.
Read the rest here....

Sunday, February 15, 2015

Let's Talk About Sex

"Your body is the church where Nature asks to be reverenced."
~ Le Marquis de Sade

You can confide in me. You can tell me your deepest desires. You'll find I'm quite the listener, and an experienced listener at that. I can help you make sense of those secrets you've been keeping. Let's talk about the kind of sex you want and we'll get you another step closer to making your fantasies come true.

What is your secret desire?

We all yearn for something more, something we both crave and fear, a longing waiting to be voiced, wanting to be heard.

What do you lust after? What do you need?

  • Do you long to submit to a dominant, relinquishing your power and acquiescing to her will?
  • Do you imagine yourself wearing women's lingerie, relishing the feel of silk and satin against your skin?
  • Do you fantasize about your lover's feet, dream of lavishing her ankles, her toes, the soles of her beautiful feet with the focused attention of an adoring slave?
  • Do you dream of watching your lover while she makes love to someone else?
  • Do you hunger for an experience that you thought you'd never be able to share with anyone else?

I saw sensuality as sacred, indeed the only sacredness, I saw woman and her beauty as divine since her calling is the most important task of existence: the propagation of the species. I saw woman as the personification of nature, as Isis, and man as her priest, her slave; and I pictured her treating him as cruelly as Nature, who, when she no longer needs something that has served her, tosses it away, while her abuses, indeed her killing it, are its lascivious bliss.
~ Leopold von Sacher-Masoch, Venus in Furs

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